It's Mother's Day...a day I once abhorred. How does one sit in church while everyone waxes on and on about how wonderful motherhood is when I wasn't sure this was a 'hood' that I would ever experience. Mormon culture is really tough on the fertility challenged crowd. I remember wondering what my life was worth if I couldn't/wouldn't become a mother. I would always be wife/sister/daughter, but the elusive mother was a label seemingly just out of my grasp. There were so many times that hopes were raised and I was sure that this time all the meds/timing etc would work. Those hopes were let down so many times and with those hopes went my ego and emotions each and every time. Did I mention that I had a friend who had three children in the time I worked on and had my first. One day she said to me "I finally know how you feel, we have tried for a month and we're not pregnant." Yes people can be incredibly insensitive when they are trying to be kind.
Now I have two incredible boys who are so much more than I ever could have hoped for when I was incredibly naive and shopping for onesies and pacifiers. On this day they treat me like a princess. Breakfast in bed, nap in the afternoon, dinner prepared by their hands. They even give up the remote control to me for the day (maybe under small protest, but still..) I only have their dad to thank for teaching them that this should be a day of honor for me. Mother's Day is now a day I love and look forward to enjoying.
Now that I have that elusive mother label firmly in my grasp, I wonder daily what I should/could do to be a better mother tomorrow. My constant goal is to yell less. Some days are great and some aren't. I wonder do I set the example that they need to be honorable priesthood holders, just good people in society? Right now they are really good guys, so I'll just keep trying.
My own mother is hard to write about. She really taught us the importance of serving other people. I remember doing things for other people anonomously even when things were pretty lean at home. I know that I owe so much to her for who I am now. Happy Mother's Day to all!